Posted in category "Lesbians & Gays"
“Homosexuality is a disordered behavior.”
Walter Cardinal Kasper made the remark during a July 31, 2008 address at the Lambeth conference, the once-a-decade gathering of the world’s Anglican bishops in Canterbury, England. Cardinal Kasper stressed to the bishops that the dialogue between the Anglican Communion and the Roman Catholic Church had been seriously compromised over the issues of women’s ordination and homosexuality. 
Kasper, who is president of the pontifical council for promoting christian unity, reminded the delegates of the catechism of the Roman Catholic Church on homosexuality: “This teaching is founded in the Old and New Testament and the fidelity to scripture and to Apostolic tradition is absolute.”
Maintaining a common approach on homosexuality is not the main Vatican concern with an Anglican split. It is the issue of married priests; and with it, the ordination of women priests and bishops.
As more married Episcopalian priests flood into the Catholic church, Catholic parishioners and priests will become more and more restive about the issues of married clergy and women priests.
Francis DeBernardo, executive director of New Ways Ministry, countered Cardinal Kasper’s remarks by pointing out the Vatican’s view would uphold only “a particular interpretation of those texts which supports Catholic teaching. Many scripture scholars, Catholic and Protestant, find that those texts do not refer to our contemporary understanding of homosexuality or to the concept of a loving committed relationship. The texts only refer to abusive sexual activity.”
As for the claim of apostolic tradition, DeBernardo said that tradition “has been evolving constantly over the centuries, even in regard to homosexuality. ” In an earlier era, he said, the church did not claim, as it now does, that homosexuals “had to be respected because of their instrinsic human dignity. That was an evolution in the tradition.” If that sort of evolution can occur, he asks, “why can’t it also change in the area of sexual activity in the context of a committed relationship?”
After 20 years of honeymooning, Lori and I are getting married. 
We’ll be legally wed next Friday, August 15th in Northampton, Mass. In a quirk of fate, not only is it my parents’ anniversary, it is also a holy day of obligation - the Feast of the Assumption.
While we’re among the first wave of New Yorkers who plan to marry in Massachusetts, California or Canada; we are certainly not the first gay Catholics to publicly vow eternal love and commitment. Not by at least 700 hundred years.
In fact, at one point, vows by same-sex couples were made and immortalized in church.
Wedded Friendships, an article by Alan Bray, appeared in The Tablet, a Catholic newspaper in the U.K., in August 2001. Bray discussed examples of spiritual same-sex friendships that have been celebrated in the history of the church with rites that gave them a status akin to marriage. The result of his research was The Friend, published posthumously in 2002 by the University of Chicago Press.
“In the chapel of Merton College in Oxford,” Bray writes, “I gazed on the great monumental brass above the tomb of John Bloxham and John Whytton, who were buried together at the end of the 14th century. It shows two figures standing side by side under canopies with their hands joined together in prayer and looking straight on to the viewer. This is the familiar iconography employed in the fourteenth century for the common tomb of a husband and wife.”
Bray posited that the liturgical form of the vows used in England and France appears to have been for the two friends to receive Holy Communion together after they had exchanged their promises outside the church.
One of the last sights of this practice was Easter Day 1834 when Anne Lister (the mistress of Shibden Hall in Yorkshire) and Ann Walker solemnized their friendship - described in Lister’s diary as a marriage - by receiving Communion together in Holy Trinity Church in Goodramgate, York.
At Mass, during the sign of peace, Lori and I always turn to each other for a kiss of peace - osculum pacis - the holy kiss. Little did I realize how this act of love and bonding would be reminicent among some in the Communion of Saints.
Tully Satre is 19 years old. He’s a nationally known gay rights activist and writer. He got his start in Catholic school. 
At 16, while he was a student at Notre Dame Academy in Middleburg, VA, he founded Equality Fauquier-Culpeper, a gay rights organization in the rural suburbs of northern Virginia. It was the gay rights group in the area. While at Notre Dame, he also established a gay-inclusive diversity group, and volunteered for People of Faith for Equality in Virginia, a pro-gay religious organization.
Satre embarked on a career as an LGBT activist: writing, speaking, blogging, networking. He became a columnist for The Advocate, and a reporter for the Windy City Times. Both websites maintain an archive of his stories and articles.
He discusses his experiences with Catholicism in at least two of the articles for the Advocate: “Confirmed as a Solitary Christian” and “Religion is Our Friend.”
I felt so sad for him–and so angry at rigid, heartless clerics–reading “Confirmed.” A 30-year-old priest bullied a 13-year-old boy about his sexuality, denying him the rite of Confirmation. “The church does not welcome you,” he said.
“I attended Catholic school since third grade up until high school graduation in June 2007,” Tully wrote in the Advocate. “The church has had a profound effect on my life, especially when it comes to being gay. It was largely responsible for my coming out. But I received negative feedback from my local community and was informally kicked oout of the church, after which I became bitter towards organized religion of any kind and identified as an agnostic.”
“It wasn’t until I met my friend Donna, a devout Catholic who works for the church, that I realized it wasn’t religion that was responsible for my hurt, it was people. Yes, the church, along with other religious organizations, teaches that homosexual actions are sinful; however, church doctrine clearly states that the harsh treatment of any person–homosexual or not–is strictly forbidden. And just because the church’s teachings are clear about homosexuality does not mean each member has to adhere to this belief. My parents are evoute Catholics, as are many of my relatives. They all have been supportive of me, going so far as to donate time and money toward advancing equality for LGBT people. In fact, their reasons for supporting me and gays in general were the direct results of their faith in Jesus Christ, who serves as a model for compassion.”
Batman and Robin hide in plain sight much like another famous couple-Xena, Warrior Princess and her young companion, Gabrielle. The gay subtext is flagrant in some stories, barely hinted at in others. Sometimes, the characters have a fleeting involvement with members of the opposite sex - a date to keep up appearances.
Is Batman gay? I found this gem by Tyrion Lannister on The Bilerico Project.
“The accusation that Batman was a homo, strange as it might sound to our own ears, was taken quite seriously by government and public alike. It wasn’t leveled by a marginal nut or crank, but by a world-renowned psychiatrist, Dr. Frederic Wertham.”
“In 1954, Wertham published a scathing indictment of comic books, The Seduction of the Innocent, which argued that comic books were an invidious influence on American youth, responsible for warped gender attitudes and all manner of delinquency.”
“Batman and Robin, Wertham charged, inhabited ‘a wish dream of two homosexuals living together.’ They lived in ’sumptuous quarters,’ unencumbered by wives and girlfriends, with only an aged butler for company. They care for each other’s injuries, frequently shared quarters, and lounged together in dressing gowns. Worse still, both exhibited damning psychological characteristics: proclivities for costumes, dressing up, and fantasy play; secretive behavior and double-lives; little interest in women; and most damning of all, neurotic compulsions resulting in their violent vigilantism. Indeed, Wertham argued, depictions of Batman and Robin were frequently homoerotic, visually emphasizing Batman’s rippling physique and Robin’s splayed, bare thighs.” 
“‘Only someone ignorant of the fundamentals of psychiatry and psychopathology of sex can fail to realize the subtle atmosphere of homoeroticism which pervades the adventures,’ wrote Wertham. ‘The Batman type of story may stimulate children to homosexual fantasies.’” 
On April 23, 2008 the Vatican approved the beatification of John Henry Newman, of one of the most significant Anglican converts to Catholicism. But, before he can be canonized, a few things need to occur: namely, a second miracle, and removing his body from a grave he shares with his beloved–a fellow priest, Ambrose St John.
In an interview with L’Osservatore Romano shortly before Newman’s beatification, Cardinal Jose Saraiva Martins, Prefect of the Congregation of the Causes of Saints, said Cardinal Newman was “a man of thought, an emblematic figure of a conversion from Anglicanism to Catholicism.” The Cardinal added, “Personally, I hope that such a beatification may occur truly within a short time because it could be very important at this moment for the path of ecumenism.” 
If so, Newman’s beatification is certainly ironic.
The Anglican Communion is tearing itself up over homosexual clergy and solemnizing the relationships of its gay communicants. Several Anglican bishops from North America have already or are in the process of seeking reception into the Catholic Church.
It’s most famous convert–John Henry Newman–was most certainly a gay man. Converting in 1845 at the age of 44, he chose to live a celibate life as an Anglican priest. However, his strong and intimate emotional attachments were with men–Richard Hurrell Froude and then, Ambrose St John. When St John died, Newman clung to the body all night.
It was Cardinal Newman’s dying wish that he be buried with his closest friend in the grounds of the house they shared as priests. The cardinal repeated on three occasions his desire to be buried with his friend, including shortly before his death in 1890.
“I wish,with all my heart, to be buried in Fr Ambrose St John’s grave - and I give this as my last, my imperative will,” he wrote, later adding: “This I confirm and insist on.”
Newman wrote after the death of St John in 1875: “I have ever thought no bereavement was equal to that of a husband’s or a wife’s, but I feel it difficult to believe that any can be greater, or anyone’s sorrow greater, than mine.”
Ambrose had also become a Roman Catholic around the same time as John Newman, and the two men have a joint memorial stone, inscribed with the words Newman had chosen:
“Ex umbris et imaginibus in veritatem”, which translates as “Out of shadows and phantasms into the truth”.
But now, nearly 120 years after his death, Newman is to be reinterred in a sarcophagus in preparation for his becoming a saint, leaving the remains of his friend behind.
The decision to separate the remains of John Henry Newman and Ambrose St John has led some people to question whether the Church is embarrassed about their relationship and doesn’t want to raise attention to it at the time of Newman’s beatification. 
”j” posted this message on the Forum on Sunday, July 13th.
“God excepts us for who we are, our sins and all but to live in a lifestyle of disrespecting on how God made us being female or male and just giving in to our human sexual desires seems to defeats the purpose of following Christ and obeying His commands”
I didn’t post the message, because regular Forum members would find it upsetting and an intrusion on safe, sacred space. But, I can respond on this blog; so, “j”, whoever you are, I hope you come back and read my reply:
Dear j,
I detected a certain gentle tone in your admonishment. In fact, it was almost a question, as if you were unsure.
Please know I agree with you, that God accepts us for who we are, sins and all, and that God loves us deeply and unconditionally.
If you have chosen as a gay person to live chastely, then please know I respect your decision.
I chose to live my life with a loving partner. And I am a happier, and wholer person in every way because of it. Love gives me life and vitality, and sexual expression is part of that love.
Before you decide that we disrespect God by loving women, then I suggest you try this before you make up your mind:
Kiss a woman. Deeply, fiercely, tenderly. How does it make you feel? 
Please write back and tell me, if that kiss “defeats the purpose of following Christ.”
I wish you well,
Karen
I’m in marketing, and after hours of crafting line after line of text for web, blogs, catalog pages and email newsletters, I need a mental break.
Sometimes, I minimize the screen and click on to Craigslist -W4W. It is always a source of discovery and entertainment.
Up until this week, the best W4W ad I ever saw on Craigslist ended with these two words: “No nuts.” Did I laugh! How many of us have met a woman we thought was an interesting possibility, only to find she was dragging so much emotional baggage ten U-Hauls couldn’t have managed it.
A few days ago I read an ad by one of the thousands of searchers who shop Craigslist every day looking for a woman who will turn them on. The women who shop Craigslist want sex. A few want it with a little class and appreciate the intellectual and emotional components of mating; others can’t be bothered with even minimal flirtation or manage an interest in getting to know the person first before jumping on them. 
Here’s a Craigslist poster whose analysis of her fellow shoppers was so witty and withering, it earned a place of honor on this site:
“I’ve been searching these ads for a while, and I find the ads fall into one of several categories. On Craigslist W4W, you can find several types of wonderful women, including:
a)THE POET: this craigslister may or may not be looking for a relationship. That is not really the point. The point is that she is a poet and she likes writing long lines of verse that make sense to her and maybe her psychiatrist. You are her captive audience. Enjoy!
b)THE FIRST-TIMER: she’s never been with a woman, but has thought about it for years (talk about extended foreplay!) or maybe just has gotten so disgusted with men she’s considering the alternative. She craves “a woman’s touch” as long as that woman is touching her ta-tas. She’s like a character from a pulp novel written in the 50s, really. You’ll either be the one to bring her out or the one to be drop-kicked to the curb the second she finds a man. Probably the latter.
c)THE MARRIED OR IN A RELATIONSHIP: She’ll have an innocent looking subject line that says “Looking for Love” so you click on–only to find her idea of love is you going down on her while hubby watches. Romance has sure changed a lot in 2008.
d)THE OVERSHARER: Long ads that go on and on about her sad life, her unemployment, her one-eyed dog, the fact that she’s on welfare, and not about what she has to bring to the table or what she’s looking for. The Oversharer might also write out a long political or philosophical manifesto, like the kind the homeless recite to you when you are on the train.
e)THE FUSSY: You must be a faggy-boi top with three earrings in each ear who likes The Smiths. And live in Williamsburg, on Bedford, specifically.
f)THE GRAPHIC: Not much in the way of writing. But come on. She’s got such a beautiful va-jay, how can you resist?
g)THE SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL: This ad asks: Wanna come to my apartment and hang out? I don’t know you from Adam but I’m sure you’ll be normal. Uh, let’s not forget this is New York City.
h)THE LOOKING FOR A TOUR GUIDE: I will be coming to New York soon. Show me where all the lesbian clubs are. I won’t pay you or make it worth your while in any way. The reward will be hanging out with me, a reward within itself.
i)THE NORMAL, or HALFWAY NORMAL: An ad that tells you a little about the poster, what she is looking for, some humor thrown in for good measure. This is the kind of ad I post and respond to.
And now, for my ad: I’m 31, Jewish, femme, brunette, average figure, enjoys movies, concerts, film. Looking for woman 26-40 who gets what I’m talking about. Normally, I write a longer ad than this, but I think I’ve written enough already.
Hate mail is also encouraged, if you disagree with my ad. Entertain me. It’s a slow weekend.”
This Thursday the Suffolk Times completed a four-issue series about gays and lesbians on the North Fork. When Lori and I got to the house last night, I saw that Anne MacKay of Orient was interviewed about the growth of the North Fork Community.
“It was a wonderful place, not as expensive as the South Fork, and lesbians began coming out and buying property in the 1960s,” MacKay said. As a fourth-generation summer person, “I’m not really a local,” she added wryly.
A retired theater professor, MacKay moved into her home in Brown’s Hills in 1959, and summered there until she retired “in about 1990″ when she moved to Orient full-time.
In the article MacKay described the beginning of the North Fork women’s community. Early on, the women would have gatherings in one another’s homes. “At first, we’d all just fit into a living room,” but over the years the group expanded. The North Fork Women for Women Fund now has a mailing list of about 500 names.
Lori and I met Anne MacKay at a NFWFWF event earlier this year. Engaging and energetic, she carried the perspective–but not the weight–of her 80 years. Her eyes are lively and intelligent. She is still a charmer.
Shortly after the event I made a point to go get copies of her books of poetry, Salt Water Days and Sailing the Edge. The Orient General Store carries them, in an old fashion wood and glass case. Women, nature, water, myth, and memory run and blend together in the poems, which is just perfect for me. 
Prominent special interest lobbyist and evangelical preacher, James C. Dobson, is back in the news. He sharply attacked presidential candidate Barak Obama, accusing him of having “a fruitcake interpretation of the Constitution” and twisting the meaning of both the Old and New Testaments. 
“I think he’s deliberately distorting the traditional understanding of the Bible to fit his own world view, his own confused theology,” Mr. Dobson said in one of the recent radio broadcasts for the group he leads, Focus on the Family.
He’s some kind of Biblical authority?” Mr. Dobson also asked.
Mr. Dobson’s remarks focused on a June 28, 2006 speech in which Mr. Obama mentioned passages from the Bible that he suggested were in conflict with present-day practices. Mr. Dobson made his criticisms shortly after Joshua Dubois, the Obama campaign’s religious affairs director, offered to meet with Focus on the Family leaders.
“Young conservative evangelicals seem more open to Obama’s ‘Christian’ message of caring for the poor, fighting genocide, health care for all and climate change,” David Brody, senior national correspondent of the Christian Broadcasting Network noted.
But so far, the attack seems to have backfired. Obama issued a strong response, and one supporter quickly created a website - jamesdobsondoesntspeakforme.com - that quotes Old Testament prophets, giving Dobson a Biblical wallop of his own.
It seems as if the Democrats have finally figured out what to do, when the Dobsons of the world try to paint them as faithless or anti-religious.
In the words of Jim Wallis, a politically liberal Christian activist, you have to go toe-to-toe with fundamentalists, carrying a Bible in one hand, and the Constitution in the other.
Fr. Henri Nouwen (1932-1996) was the author of The Wounded Healer and dozens of other books. He is famous for his religious meditations and his guides to spiritual development. 
BBC producer Michael Ford met Nouwen while interviewing him for a TV program. He later took at leave of absence to write the book, The Wounded Prophet - A Portrait of Henri J.M. Nouwen.
Ford said it is impossible to “understand the complexity and anguish of the man” without considering his homosexual orientation, something he was aware of from the time he was a boy, but started to come to grips with only in the final years of his life.
He wrestled with his homosexual leanings, which he regarded as a disability, a cross to bear. While he taught at Harvard in the 1980s, he was hard on gay students, telling them homosexuality was an evil state of being.
In time, Nouwen became friends with some gay people, and was under pressure to go public. Other friends, however, counseled him to keep his secret, saying he would lose all credibility as a famous and widely admired Catholic if people knew he was gay.
Nouwen never publicly came out during his lifetime. He did acknowledge he was gay in private conversations and in his diaries.
Nouwen was deeply troubled by the possibility that people would reject him if they knew about his sexual orientation. “This took an enormous emotional, spiritual and physical toll on his life and may have contributed to his early death,” Ford said.
His homosexual feelings may also have contributed to a midlife nervous breakdown. When his close friend Nathan Ball pulled back from their platonic relationship, Nouwen went into a tailspin and had to seek treatment for an emotional breakdown.
Ford believes this brokenness within Nouwen was the key to his ability to reach out to those in need, those who are suffering and wounded. Ford writes, “He discovered that it was from the wounded places in himself that he could reach the wounded places in others.”
Henri saw the 1987 film, Maurice, based on E. M. Forster’s novel of classism and homophobia in England. After the movie, Henri collapsed. His companion’s description of what happened is recounted by Ford:
“…he had to stop on the highway because he was sobbing uncontrollably. He was so caught up with the story and the dilema the two main characters were living, because it was his. All I could do was hold him and let him cry. He was really in pieces.” 
“Today the small rejections of my life are too much for me,” Nouwen writes. “A sarcastic smile, a flippant remark, a brisk denial, a bitter silence, a failure to be noticed, a coldness from a colleague, an indifference from someone I love, a nagging tiredness, the lack of a soulmate, a loneliness I can’t explain. I feel empty, alone, afraid, restless, unsure of myself, and I look around for invitations, letters, phone calls, gifts, for someone to catch my eye in sympathy, for some warm gesture that can heal my emptiness..And right now I don’t particularly want God, faith, church or even a big and gracious heart. I want simply to be held, embraced, loved by someone special, made to feel unique, kissed by a soulmate. I’m empty, a half-person. I need someone to make me whole.”
