The Wise still seek him… 
Merry Christmas! Nollaig shona dhibh beirt nuair a thagann si! (Happy Christmas when she comes) Joyeux Noel!
I would like to offer a personal holiday greeting and note of appreciation to all who have contributed to this blog in the last year. Your presence has helped to make it fun, lively, provocative and shared–which is all a person can ask of religion. Your comments have helped me to reflect, explore and reach out–growing in faith and mind. I can ask for no more. Thank you all. I will remember each of you with affection and gratitude at Christmas Eve Mass tonight.
A special thanks to my buddies, and the angels who sat on my shoulders this year as I wrote; including Thom, Michael Bayly, Benny the Bridgebuilder, justme, Christine, Nicole, Archangel, Katherine, Kansas City Catholic, Terry Weldon, Polo, eric, Mary Ellen, Ed Murphy and Christina Bumgardner.
Merry Christmas and joy, always,
Karen
For many years December was the month I used to grit my teeth and endure hearing ”Happy Holiday!” “Season’s Greetings”–anything but “Merry Christmas.” Not anymore.
For the past several years, whenever someone offers a “Happy Holidays” I smile and say back to them, “You can wish me a Merry Christmas.”
For too many years merchants have co-opted Christmas to move their inventory and run up the sales figures for the last quarter.
With each passing year Christmas decorations, lights and bunting go up earlier and earlier. It’s not even Thanksgiving and already fake Holiday/Christmas decorations are up in Penn Station in New York. Advent hasn’t arrived, but plastic reindeer and Frosty the Snowman are blinking away and loudspeakers blast out tinny versions of Jingle Bells and Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree. I have Brenda Lee going off in my head for the rest of the day.
Some Christians, afraid, anxious and guilty that non-Christians might feel “left out” and have their feelings hurt by Christmas, try to minimize the religious meaning of the celebration and turn it into some kind of secular gift-giving holiday.
These people need to get over it.
One of the most breath-taking, touching, and eloquent defenses of Christmas came in the 1965 Charles Schultz special: A Charlie Brown Christmas. When Charlie Brown wonders aloud if he really knows the meaning of Christmas, Linus quotes this verse from Luke:
“Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
And that is the message of Christmas: That God so loved us, he came to be with us, share our life, and bring us the warmth of His love.
May that message continue to shine–brightly–through all the seasonal glitter. 
Lori and I celebrate our 21st anniversary today.
Our love and respect for each other has grown over the years and we are still very much in love.
Like other gay couples, we have have said “I Do” to each other several times. We started off with a domestic partnership in New York City on April 8, 1993; a marriage with a nondemoninational minister in Hawaii on August 27, 1998; and a wedding in Massachusetts with a justice of the peace on August 15, 2008. We celebrate all of them with a fancy dinner and nuzzling, but our biggest anniversary, even beyond our legal wedding, is the day of our first date - November 14, 1987.
The amount of “I Dos” we have experienced started to border on the humorous to both us and our families. “How many times are you going to do this,” Lori’s mother asked after our Massachusetts wedding announcement. “Until we get a toaster,” I quipped back. Lori’s younger brother and his wife and daughters surprised us with a beautiful toaster after our vows in front of the justice of the peace. 
Like other couples, we want the emotional, cultural and one day, I hope, religious affirmation of our commitment of a life together until death do us part. We also want all the legal protections and economic benefits of marriage. And yes, there is a seriousness, dignity and closeness that comes with the commitment of marriage.
On the front page of the October 30, 2008 edition of the Wall Street Journal was the article, “Why Just One Wedding Isn’t Enough For Some Gay Couples.” A lot of what other couples go through resonated in our own relationship.
“Daniel McNeil and Patrick Canavan joke they’ve been married four times–to each other. The “I dos” started with a Washington, DC church wedding in 1998. Since then, the two men, both 46 years old, have chased evolving laws across the U.S. to secure a civil union in Vermont, a domestic partnership in the District of Columbia and in August, a marriage in California.”
“Mr. Canavan met Mr. McNeil, a bubbly former Franciscan brother and math teacher, in 1994 at a retreat for gay and lesbian Catholics. They moved in together and got engaged but wanted to demonstrate their commitment publicly. In October 1998, the grooms, in tuxedos, held a Catholic wedding ceremony at an Episcopal church congenial to gay marriages in Washington. The pair picked readings from the Bible and exchanged rings blessed by their Catholic priest, before family and 200 friends. They went to Spain on their honeymoon.”
“It was probably the best day of my life,” Mr. McNeil recalls, speaking of the marriage.
“When California allowed same-sex marriages in May, Messrs. McNeil and Canavan jumped at the chance. In early August they flew to San Francisco with their son and daughter for a ceremony with a few close friends in City Hall. The children acted as witnesses.”
“Mr. McNeil says the wedding felt more like a 10th anniversary. It doesn’t confer any additional rights for the couple back home in Washington. But Mr. McNeil says he now feels emboldened to check the “married” box on things like insurance and health forms.”
Lori and I are starting to say “wife” in describing each other instead of “partner” or “spouse.” It’s still a little uncomfortable, but as we say it we are getting used to it. I checked “Married” for the first time in filling out forms at a new dentist.
We are also in the process of adding each other as the beneficiary to our pensions. As unmarried partners, we would not have been able to claim this benefit. The additional monthly check will help the surviving parter to be more financially secure - peace of mind and assurance we are happy and grateful to have as we grow old together.
Every weekend I’m in Greenport I thank God we were able to buy a house here. I love the village, but most of all I love the nature that surrounds us. Close to the ocean, we are also graced with farmlands and vineyards. It reminds me of a mix of Vermont and Cape Cod.
The closest I have come to a contemplative lifestyle are the weekend walks on the beach. We soak in the sun and the sounds of the gulls and tide rolling over the pebbles on the shore.
We often walk by little shrines people have built of rocks and shells. I understand why they are there.
We snuggle next to each other on a rock or against a driftwood log and watch the sea and the sailboats. We daydream. Every time we say we wish we didn’t have to go.
Fall has started, and it brings its own rhythm. We get out the bird feeders and put away the terra cotta pots and saints of summer.
It’s like prayer time going back and forth with my old battered green wheelbarrow to bring maple and apple wood to the house to stack near the fireplace. It will soon be cold enough for our first fire. Those nights bring their own day dreams, watching the fire burn down to embers.
The leaves have started to fall, but we’ll need a big fall storm to really shake them down.
My “Trinity” icon - one of those iconic fall leaves - reminds me daily of God’s presence in nature. 
Trinity was painted by James Napoleon, who did a series called “Leaves of Autumn.” I bought it last year during his show in Greenport.
The North Fork of Long Island is blessed by a very special light. The sunlight shining on Long Island Sound and Peconic Bay combines to illuminate the fields, vineyards and sky of the land in-between.
Napoleon captures this light in his paintings, and how it illuminates everything and everyone.
