Nihil Obstat

Help me St. Joseph!

The latest angst revolves around selling the apartment. The real estate agent isn’t generating much, so maybe it’s time to turn to the Divine. I called mom for advice. My mother checked around with all her gal pals in the retirement community, and the consensus was for celestial help in selling our place I need to bury a statue of St. Joseph upside down in the yard. The problem is: we live in a 6th floor apartment. Should I hang St. J off the fire escape, or, sneak down in the middle of the night and put him in the small patch of grass out front that serves as a dog bathroom? Neither version sounds especially reverent! Help!