LGBTQIA+ Time to Get the “L” Out?
I have seen the abbreviation “LGBTQIA+” and had no idea what all the letters meant. I googled it and found that it is: “A common abbreviation for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Pansexual, Transgender, Genderqueer, Queer, Intersexed, Agender, Asexual, and Ally community.” Is it time to get the “L” out, as some lesbians have suggested? I’m starting to think so.
What sparked this post was a Covid-19 article on Yahoo – “I am Worried About A Backslide in LGBTQIA+ Rights.” I thought it was a little whiny, self-centered and full of assumptions that all gay/lesbian people will agree with the writer’s fretting and values. I don’t. I want my female pronouns, thank you. I want my lesbian identity.
Our identity politics designation now encompasses splinter groups I personally have no interest in or connection with at all. Pansexual? Intersexed? Genderqueer? Who are these people? How was our movement for dignity, respect and rights hijacked? How could most lesbian and gay individuals relate to someone who describes themself as “Asexual?” The whole reason we endured pain, humiliation, rejection and violence was to have sex with the woman or man we desired who was a member of our own sex.
Many trans women are frustrated and angry with lesbians who refuse to have sex with them. There’s the trans woman with fire engine red lipstick complaining “cis” lesbians don’t respond to her OK Cupid ad! Then there’s trans professor bicycle champ who bitches about sex and sports. The trans woman porn star who coined the term “cotton ceiling,” is miffed that lesbians are happy to have coffee dates but not a roll in the hay. Most lesbians are not interested in dicks—either on a man or woman. Is that a big surprise? Anyway, shouldn’t a woman’s choice of whom she wants to sleep with take priority over ideology? 
I thought this gay man summed up the situation the best:
“I am a gay man, which means I am attracted to other men, meaning adult human males. This precludes women and females who identify as men. And you know what? That’s okay. I’ve fought since I was 15-years-old — when I first came out — to live this truth. My existence as a gay man matters. Lesbians’ existence matters. And this notion that we can overcome “genital preferences” is homophobic and erases our identities, as homosexual people. It doesn’t just echo the far-right conversion therapies so many of us have fought decades to end, it actively embraces these beliefs, as it implies we could become heterosexual if we just opened our minds and overcame our “preferences” for members of the same sex.” 
What do you think? Should lesbians be forced to sleep with men because that’s what the Church and Society want? Should lesbians be shamed into sleeping with trans women because that’s what some transgender advocates want?
May 2nd, 2020 at 5:04 pm
The answer to both your questions in the last paragraph must be a resounding NO. But then surely nobody should be forced to sleep with anyone else.
I am clearly out of touch with what is apparently going on around me as I don’t understand the problem. Gay men and Lesbian women have fought for equality of esteem with heterosexuals and I thought we were just about there, leaving the attitude of some sections of the RC Church aside.
I can see that transgender is a new “complication” but I don’t understand why it should undermine gays and lesbians.
I have led a very sheltered life.
May 3rd, 2020 at 4:38 am
Polo, for a long time, I believe we had a “live and let live” attitude. This started to change a few years ago, when trans women complained in the media and social media that “transphobic” lesbians refused to sleep with them. Before that, there wasn’t the case of one of the “letters” trying to force another “letter” into bed. There was also the socially and politically contentious issue of trans women using bathrooms for “Women” or females. A large group of people really took issue with that, fearful of women with penises in bathrooms alone with women and little girls. What if a trans woman gets an erection with naked or half-dressed girls or women walking around a locker room? It is a complicated issue, and there are many feelings to consider, not just one group, especially if children are involved. Trans women competing in women’s sports is another issue. Should biologically born males be permitted to compete in women’s sports? For now, I don’t think they should. There were born and raised with a different body and a lot more testosterone than the average girl. Perhaps in the future male and female athletes can be assessed on a spectrum of qualities and composition.
May 3rd, 2020 at 3:36 pm
Thank you Karen for that clarification. I had not been aware of Transgender’s paranoia directed at Lesbians.
That aside, there is clearly a problem in Transgender participation in gender-specific aspects of living, as you point out.
I agree with your conclusions.
Stay safe.
June 11th, 2020 at 7:17 am
Karen
You may be interested in this if you have not seen. It seems very reasonable to me.
https://www.jkrowling.com/opinions/j-k-rowling-writes-about-her-reasons-for-speaking-out-on-sex-and-gender-issues/
June 11th, 2020 at 5:45 pm
Polo, great article. I’m delighted to include it on this site. Trans activists that harass J. K. Rowling and lesbians who aren’t attracted to them are sick bullies. They are the same as the most misogynist men, getting nasty and threatening when sexually thwarted. If the answer is “No” trans women need to be courteous and desist. Otherwise, they’re pigs. Go sleep with someone who wants you and stop bothering women who aren’t interested.
November 8th, 2020 at 11:39 pm
I’m just speaking for myself, but it is horrendous to turn on any number of news and commercial media and hear oneself referred to as “LGBT”, “LGBTQ”, “LGBTQI”, “LGBTQQIA+”, etcetera. It changes every time you turn around. And then there’s the insult of hearing your kind being blithely referred to as “queer” by a heterosexual pundit or host. Seems to me a lot of people are eager for permission to label us in a way they never would have dared just a few years ago. I think it shows how their negative attitudes about us haven’t really changed. Yes, it’s high time to get the “L” out, and the “G” as well. I don’t like alphabet soup, I never did and I never will! And I won’t stand for ignorant people “reclaiming” slurs on my behalf.
February 8th, 2024 at 12:53 pm
I arrived on here largely by accident. I just want to echo everything that DC Hampton says above. I’m sick of hearing us referred to as “LGBT(Q)(I)(A)(+WTF)” or as “queer”, for decades the word used by anti-gay bullies and abusers to trumpet their hatred and scorn of us. Those who want to inflict such trash on us can shove it.