Almost Palm Sunday..where did Lent go?
For many reasons, all very good, I did not have -or make- time this year for Lent. That is, I did not fast in any fashion, I did not take time to reflect, pray, meditate and the likeand I did not give alms! Yet!
I kind of long for other Lents when the season had been for me an occasion to know Christ a little bit better. This year in contrast I am tired, seeking not inspirational readings but funny movies.
Nothing really sinful about all that. After all, I work hard and had a lot on my plate for the past few weeks. And yet, the habit of not attending to spiritual matters might not be the root of all sins, the root of a sinful life?
Indeed the habit of not looking for food, shelter and exercise would eventually bring malnutrition, disease and physical death, would it not? In the same way the habit of not looking for spiritual food, shelter and exercise would accomplish the same for the spirit.
Lent is supposed to help us attend to that sort of activity: “Convert” that is “Turn away from, turn to”. This is a directional time, a sort of GPS of the soul.
With the lack of spiritual activity comes a vague and yet paralyzing sense of guilt. Like water in the fault of a rock, it enlarges the break slowly but surely, and the erosion, that is the separation from the spiritual becomes bigger and bigger.
Yes, it is time to convert! To re-center myself, to trust again. Isn’t spiritual life a succession of turning back? Letting go of my worries and self absorption, of my guilt and lassitude, to answer the call my mediocrity has not yet managed to silence.
The resurrection of Lazarus (John 11:1-45) is a good image: I feel tied up in metaphorical burial bands! If only I accepted to hear Christ’s call to me: “Come out and live”.
