Nihil Obstat

David Benkof is Fabulously Observant

The June 9th New York Post ran the opinion piece “Marriage Fight Wastes Gay Dollars” by a man named David Benkof, who was identified as a “columnist for several gay newspapers and a blogger at GaysDefendMarriage.com.

Benkof, 38, wrote he was against spending gay community dollars on the upcoming California vote on marriage. He believes the gay community, and the Human Rights Commission in particular, should use the cash they have raised for California PR to “achieve rights for same-sex couples who live in states that are much more hostile to gays and lesbians than California.” He dismissed the marriage initiative battle by saying “HRC is pushing for gays in San Francisco to be able to use their favorite term for their relationship.”

He chided the gay community for not routinely raising funds like “Catholics and African-Americans” to help out the poorest members of their communities. “We in the gay and lesbian movement have done a lousy job of paying attention to people who share our identify but lack the resources to hobnob at fancy diners.” He insinuated that now that the faces of AIDS and HIV infections are not wealthy white men, but poor and black men, the movement has moved on to other “more relevant” issues.

Since Mr. Benkof did not say anything about himself or his experiences in the article, one would assume, as I did, that he is a regular gay guy, someone active in the movement as a columnist, but who chooses to sound ideologically out-of-step, peevish or both. Since his righteous attitude both annoyed and piqued my interest, I decided to dig.   Here’s what I found:

-David Benkof (born David Bianco) is not a columnist for several gay newspapers. He’s a freelancer who submits articles and opinion pieces.   He does not have a regular gig with anyone, including the Dallas Voice.

-In 2003 Benkof, who had been raised as a Conservative Jew, became Orthodox. He stopped saving sex with men, and professed that “the liberal…approach to homosexuality and Judaism was completely bankrupt.”

-He now identifies not as a gay man, but as bisexual. “I believe that within  a couple of years I’m probably going to be married with a growing family.”

-Benkof views heterosexuality as an integral part of the teachings of Judaism. “I rejected all the unsuccessful attempts to reconcile traditional Judaism with gay sex and gay relationships. And I decided to take more seriously the demands that I believe G-d has made on the Jewish people in terms of how we live out our sexual feelings.”

“I happen to believe that G-d has been clear to the Jewish people that we should be pursuing opposite-sex relationships, and particularly not having intercourse between two males.”

Since his orthodox awakening Benkof has become a strong opponent of same-sex marriage: “It insults the millions of Americans whose traditional faiths call on us to defend marriage as a central institution in society defined as a union between a man and a woman.”

Why didn’t he raise any of this in the Post article?

If it’s not made-up, Benkof has at least one Christian that agrees with him. “Mark” writes:

“David-thank you for creating this website and putting into words exactly what my partner and I believe. I am so sick of “gay” people acting like gayness is our one defining attribute. I am also an American and a Christian, to name a few. Demanding that marriage, which is a religious institution, be afforded to gay people regardless of the wishes of a vast majority will only cement in the minds of many that gays care only about their own self interests regardless of the potential or perceived damage our behavior and pet issues might have on society. Such egocentricity, thus, could lead to a great backlash by the vast majority of people, who regardless of what we want and hope, still find homosexuality disgusting on a personal level–not to mention immoral on a religious level–I fear that someday, in the not too distant future, my partner and I will have to pay a great price for the indulgences and egotism of the annointed leaders of today’s gay movement.”

Note: I haven’t been able to google any articles by David, five years now as a self-identified bisexual, on how the love and physical intimacy with a woman has been a gift of God for him.

Read more on David Benkoff here and here and here.